EdHammer 3:03 Fri Dec 8
Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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I've been asked to host our company Christmas party this weekend, as the cost of hiring a real host was too much.
The venue and the event has gone over budget.
There will be 100 people coming to the event and I have no script or opening lines/gags!
Any good jokes, opening lines or ideas would be much appreciated.
Cheers people.
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Replies - In Chronological Order ( Show Newest Messages First)
cup of tea
3:07 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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Go to a pub
Get pissed
Fuck all this false try to hard bollocks
Basically people attending don't really want to be there anyway.
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Spandex Sidney
3:07 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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Just invite loads of women, hardly any blokes and lots of white wine.
Your cock will thank me later.
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Pi Alpha Nu
3:07 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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Just have a look on the joke thread find a few good ones if you can then tell all that the bars open and the boss is paying.
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worm
3:10 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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Got mine tonight.
I'm gonna fuck off home after the food.
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cup of tea
3:13 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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Mine is on 15th. Gonna have some food and fuck off to the pub with a few decent people around 9pm. Xmas parties are for gays, women and people that like to pretend they are good
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BRANDED
3:50 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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Thanks to autocorrect, 1 in 5 children will be getting a visit from Satan this Christmas.
Q: How does a network administrator nerd greet people who come to his house?
A: Welcome to 127.0.0.1
Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it
Writing a horror screenplay. It starts off with a ringing phone. The person answers, and it's their wife saying "I have a computer question."
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BRANDED
3:51 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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OH
I thought you said hosting company
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worm
3:52 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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You sound like a right laugh, Branded.
Got room for one more at Christmas?
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Gavros
3:54 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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GOOD EVENING EVERYBODY
THE BAR IS FREE
IVE GOT A MASSIVE COCK
HAVE A GOOD TIME
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BRANDED
3:55 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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It was a joke. Admittedly a bit intellectual but hey, wtf?
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goose
3:57 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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i laughed.
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Swiss.
4:15 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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Don't do anything sitting down or you'll end up sitting next and opposite to a bore. So standing up and finger food.
Some tribute siger like Any Winhouse and some punch which tastes like soft fruit juice but will have everyone legless. Look up Miliary Punch
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Billy Blagg
4:58 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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I got a divorce, lost a house and got a second marriage from the last Christmas party I organised. So NO I have no advice to give.
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Ilford Hammer
5:06 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, sorry I'm late, I just popped to the toilet. And while I was there, I saw some graffiti and it said 'I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.'
Straight away you've got them by the jaffas.
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Side of Ham
5:19 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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worm 3:10 Fri Dec 8
Do you really think you are wriggle out of it that easily?
Billy Blagg
Sounds like you organised an orgy not a party
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Mike Oxsaw
7:20 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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Do your opening speech in Arabic, wearing a full-on dish-dash & back-pack combo.
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aldgate
9:25 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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smile a lot while welcoming everyone - thank everyone in the audience for being great all year and start clapping - they'll soon follow and you can walk off in a warm glow and enjoy yourself
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Nurse Ratched
11:59 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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We've already had ours.
I didn't go.
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gph
12:02 Sat Dec 9
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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NR isn't Oscar Wilde - doesn't give a shit whether people are talking about her or not.
PS They are
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Nurse Ratched
12:04 Sat Dec 9
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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That's not likely to be to my advantage.
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